RR 100%
Another sober day! So now 10 days since I last acted out. Just October, November and December to get through to reach my initial target of being sober for the rest of 2016.

Had a productive day off from work today - just going through my to do list. I worked at it from when I got up to 5 pm and now I'm going to chill out during the evening!

I rewatched the excellent "cycle of sexual addiction" video by Eric Bohlin today.

Hope everybody is staying positive and staying sober. Remember - focus on what you can control, the rest will take care of itself!

Jeff

Fri 30 Sep
RR 100%
Did some really positive thinking at work about keeping on doing a good job at work. I f I do a good job then I will be under less pressure. Really want to keep that target of staying sober the rest of 2016 at the forefront of my mind. If I can do that will have spent less money on acting out this year than I did in 2015 so I can say progress! If I don't manage this target then I will immediately start going to 12 step meetings in person.

Thursday 29 Sep
I am writing this with pen and paper. I will upload it in blog format tomorrow. I decided to do it this way as I fancied a break from using the CPU. Even just from writing this first paragraph it is making a nice change! Thankfully RR was back up to 100% today after yesterday's scare. I did some really good rational thinking today in terms of my life outlook and decisions. A productive day at work and feeling positive heading into the weekend.
Now I am going to read some more of the book I am reading on sexual addiction. Best wishes and sobriety to all from Jeff.

RR 100% but there was a moment during the day when it was as low as 10%.

There was a moment in the afternoon when I suddenly felt really tempted to act out. I read recently that sex addiction is the hardest addiction to beat because you are always walking around with a fix in your head.

I need more accountability in my life. I need to find somewhere for this blog where I feel like I will be letting people down if I don't update it. That way I will always have to face the music 1 way or another when I act out. Failing all that I have in my back pocket the option to go to 12 step meetings in person and get a sponsor and recovery friends who I will have to face in person after each time I act out - and will have to either lie or admit what I've done (the prospect of either will not be appealing). I will continue posting this blog here but I really want it to be the case that I can't hide from my own acting out.

Thankfully I have made it through the day sober though so have to pat myself on the back for that.

Also did some good thinking today - Spending the money exotic masseuses would cost on treating family members and friends instead would be much more enjoyable, make me feel better, happier and feel less discord at work if I spent the money taking colleague friends out to lunch etc.! This is just an illustration of how much a waste of money it is acting out.

Resolve Rating 100%

Bit short on time this evening but determined to make an entry as I promised to everyday. Busy and varied day at work which meant work didn't drag which is good. Played some computer games at home, had some good dinner, watched a bit of film which I enjoyed. Will finish watching film tomorrow. So yeah, another sober day which is great and I'm keeping busy which is helping with my recovery.

As part of tonight's recovery work I plan to read some more of the book I'm reading on sexual addiction before going to bed. Best wishes to all and anyone who is battling an addiction I wish you a sober day for tomorrow!

RR 100%

Really positive attitude at work today and I plan to keep busy tonight doing things on my to do list. This should keep my spirits high and my resolve rating up. Really important to remember that if I can stay sober for the rest of the year I will have spent less on acting out in 2016 than I did in 2015. Also, if I do act out again during 2016 I will have no choice but to start attending 12 step meetings in person.
As part of my recovery work today, as well as updating this blog I plan to read more of the book I am currently reading on recovery from sexual addiction.